If Only We’d Met

If only we’d met earlier. Five years ago. Ten years ago. If only you were there to rescue me from… the past.

We can dream, but we know the me of five years ago would’ve walked right by, and the you of ten years ago would’ve done the same. I appreciate you now because of the past, just as you do. Now wouldn’t matter otherwise.

There is another possibility. Maybe we haven’t met yet. Maybe we’ve brushed past each other. Blind. Unaware. Collecting the qualities that matter to us and discarding the rest. The time will come.

But not yet.

Texting & Driving

Passed a motorcycle cop with a radar gun the other day and it hit me; cops should have picture taking guns. Could develop them with the Polaroid people. So when a cop spots someone texting and driving they just whip out the photo gun and – gotcha. Wouldn’t even have to try, just point it into general traffic. It’s going to take a picture of someone texting. Then it prints a ticket with a photo of them texting and when they go, “I wasn’t texting –“ the officer just tears the ticket off and slaps it on their windshield. Next!

Bird Poop

Came out to the driveway this morning and found a bird had pooped on my car. Or should I say, a pterodactyl pooped on my car. Couldn’t believe it. If it wasn’t a pterodactyl it was a formation of geese that got scared, all at the same time. Maybe from a shotgun blast? Looked like somebody threw pancake batter at the front fender. Angrily. Or like a dozen eggs. I’m surprised the car alarm didn’t go off. Lucky it didn’t hit the house. One more flap from whatever it was and it could’ve shattered a window to the kid’s room.