His and Hers Shopping Lists

Her shopping list:
  Peppermint coffee creamer, Christmas pajama and slipper set (returned)
  Dog stocking, Painted wood sign, “Fresh Cut Christmas Trees”
  Fleetwood Mac concert tickets
  Assorted Bath & Body Works soft soap, assorted 3-wick candles
  Two boxes of See’s Candy Nuts & Chews, One pack of miniature candy canes
  Dog antlers, dog sweater

His shopping list:
  Christmas tree stand, Christmas light replacement bulbs
  5’ extension cord, 3-prong outlet timer
  6’ HDMI cable, 3.5mm to RCA male adapter (returned)
  Wreath hanger in oil rubbed bronze
  Four M8 45mm hex bolts, 8’ 4K HDMI cable, digital optical cable
  Fleetwood Mac concert tickets

Aunt Tess

My Aunt Tess was a mean old lady with a stare that stopped you cold in your tracks. It didn’t matter what you were doing but by the look in her eye what you were doing was wrong. Didn’t make sense why my mom did what she did. I guess she just didn’t see Aunt Tess the same way us kids did. Mom found a guy with a 3D printer and had him 3D print aunt Tess’s head, eyes and all, then stuck that head on an elf on the shelf body to watch over us through that horrible Christmas.