Light Switch

Blank stares.

“So when it’s up, it’s ON?”

“Mom, Dad, it couldn’t be simpler. It says, ON.” He flicked the brand new switch on the wall and the lights snapped on. “Up is ON. Flip this down and the lights turn off.”

 “How can we tell if the switch is up or down in the dark?” Dad scoffed.

“I’ll write the steps and tape them up,” mom said helpfully.

“Dad, its two settings. ON or OFF. It’s a switch.”

“I might be too complicated for your father, hon. Maybe it’s just for young people,” she said and lit a candle.

His and Hers Shopping Lists

Her shopping list:
  Peppermint coffee creamer, Christmas pajama and slipper set (returned)
  Dog stocking, Painted wood sign, “Fresh Cut Christmas Trees”
  Fleetwood Mac concert tickets
  Assorted Bath & Body Works soft soap, assorted 3-wick candles
  Two boxes of See’s Candy Nuts & Chews, One pack of miniature candy canes
  Dog antlers, dog sweater

His shopping list:
  Christmas tree stand, Christmas light replacement bulbs
  5’ extension cord, 3-prong outlet timer
  6’ HDMI cable, 3.5mm to RCA male adapter (returned)
  Wreath hanger in oil rubbed bronze
  Four M8 45mm hex bolts, 8’ 4K HDMI cable, digital optical cable
  Fleetwood Mac concert tickets